It is possible that at some time you have wanted the earth to swallow you when in the middle of a shopping center your child has wanted to give the show because you did not satisfy his whims… You may feel the looks of the rest of the people like piercing stabs to your heart. Your desperate attempts to comfort your child in these moments may be the result of a new mom or new dad.
Perhaps when your child bursts into a tantrum it is because you have not taken notice his signs of irritability, he may have been tired or hungry. Even adults get irritated when we’re not emotionally well and it’s not so easy to keep our composure.
There are patterns of behavior that all mothers and fathers should be aware of. Children do the same things when they are tired, when they are hungry, or just when they are sick of something. Adults should take note and adjust their actions accordingly. Children’s bad moods may sometimes just be because they didn’t take a nap.
If you ignore the signals that your child gives you, then it will be the first discipline mistake you make, but in addition to this there are other discipline mistakes that you can never ignore plus. Below I am going to name some quite common ones… but that you should eradicate now.
Phrases like: ‘Don’t hit your sister’, ‘Stop pulling your tail at the dog’, ‘Don’t do that’, ‘Be still and don’t bother’, etc. It is necessary to leave those negative phrases behind and start talking about the behavior that you want to see instead of talking about what you do not want to see. No one wants to raise a child who doesn’t understand limits, but parents say ‘no’ so often that children become deaf to that word… the ‘no’ lose all power. Parents often abuse the ‘no’, telling children what not to do, but not telling them what they can do.
The ‘no’ is best saved for situations that are really dangerous and focus on telling children the for ma in which you would like him to behave. For example, instead of saying: ‘Don’t stand up in the bathtub’, it is better to say: ‘Sit in the bathtub, because if you stand up you can slip’. When he does well, do not hesitate to praise him and you will be reinforcing his good behavior.
You have to remember that young children have not yet developed impulse control and have not yet learned the social norms required for public places. Parents assume their children know what they should do and get frustrated if they don’t behave innately… what’s the point?
When a child breaks the rules, remember that he doesn’t want to hurt you or hurt you. embarrass you, he just doesn’t know how to act in that situation so you need to teach him. Tell him how you want him to behave in a calm voice. It will take time and repetition for children to learn so you will have to wait and be patient giving your child enough reminders so that he gradually models his behavior looking at your example. Over time, he will learn how to act.
When something drops on him, you yell at him. When you get angry you insult and your son sees it… and then you get angry if your son reacts in the same way when things don’t go his way. He looks inside you and reflects on your behavior. It’s hard to have perfect behavior all day, but if there’s something you’re not doing right… apologize. Tell your child the truth, that emotions are sometimes difficult to control even for adults, ask for forgiveness and show him that you are responsible for your actions.
Also, give him strategies so he knows how to react when he does things impulsively or when he gets too frustrated.