We all know that adolescence is a difficult time in parenting. Our little children are not so little anymore and are moving on to become adults. A path full of obstacles awaits them and we, the parents, must be their guides. That is why it is so important to be aware that there are attitudes that you should avoid with your teenager.
Attitudes to avoid in the education of our adolescent children
Next we are going to comment on some attitudes that you should avoid with your teenager. In this way, this stage will not be so complicated for you or your child. Do not lose detail and take note to take it into account in these years where adolescence will be the protagonist of the family.
1. Always expect the worst
It is true that parents somehow always expect the worst at this stage of their children’s lives. But with this attitude you will only be showing that you do not trust your son and what is worse, that you do not expect anything good from the decisions he makes. Show more confidence in your teen and you’ll be amazed at how eloquent they can be. You better keep a more positive attitude.
2. Force him to fulfill your dreams
Many parents feel failure inside because they did not fulfill dreams for which they always aspired in childhood. The reasons may be many, but never, under any circumstances, force your children to follow in your footsteps, and less if they do not want to.
Your children have their own personality, their tastes and their idiosyncrasies that you must respect. You need to support them to pursue THEIR dreams, not yours. Respect their decisions and remember that your child is a different person from you. He doesn’t have to think like you, or feel like you.
3. Wanting to control everything
Unfortunately, people who want to be in control of everything in their lives can be very disappointed. In fact, this is a cause of anxiety and depression in many people. That is why it is so important to be aware that control does not reside in us… It is out of our reach in many aspects.
If you are a father or mother, with more reason you should take this premise into consideration. When your children grow up and reach a certain age, you won’t be able to control them… you must have worked on trust enough so that trusting them is what gives you peace of mind even if you don’t have control over their decisions.
Negotiate what is necessary, such as the rules of coexistence, always with logical arguments and from mutual respect. But do not want to control your children or you will only get the unwanted effect: that they do not trust you and that they lose control completely.
4. Show an invasive attitude
Teenagers love privacy. They want to show that they are totally independent from you and they will only achieve this if you respect their privacy and personal space. That is why it is so important that you do not maintain an invasive attitude towards them or they will withdraw from you, both physically and emotionally.
It’s normal to worry, because teenagers can be exposed to dangerous situations… but you shouldn’t overdo it. In this sense, trust and respectful accompaniment are once again very important.
Don’t violate her privacy by going through her things or looking at her phone messages when she’s not around. Don’t drown them with protection even if you feel worried. In fact, if you feel worried for a specific reason, you will need to work on trust in the relationship to be able to help him as much as possible. Respect your son, his things and his friends.
Avoid arguments to prevent them from feeling hurt by you. It is always better to talk about things calmly, without yelling or threatening. If you are worried, show empathy and assertiveness and you will have better results.
5. Not accepting him as he is
If you do not accept your children as they are, they will feel rejected by you and there is nothing worse than that for a son or a daughter. Do not criticize or judge him for how he is, how he talks, how he dresses or how he combs his hair. It’s your son or your daughter and it’s like that. Accept him, love him… it’s the only thing he needs. That you validate her emotions and him or her as a person.
You are their guide, but don’t try to change who they are just because they are not how you imagined them growing up. He deserves your unconditional love until your last breath, and your acceptance is essential for your son or daughter to have good security and good self-esteem.