Self-esteem is a person’s subjective and often emotional assessment of their own worth. Self-esteem is what gives us the courage to try new things and to believe in ourselves while we are making. Parents need to help children develop healthy self-esteem.
When parents help children develop healthy self-esteem, you can ensure that they have strong coping skills, which is a trait that will help them throughout their lives. As parents, mistakes can be made on occasion, and this is perfectly normal, unless the mistakes negatively affect a child’s self-esteem.
To avoid mistakes and for them to affect our children’s self-esteem, we must first know what these mistakes are. Once you have identified them, then it will be time for you to start avoiding them so that they do not influence your lives.
5 mistakes that directly affect your children’s self-esteem
1 . Criticizing them
When you criticize your children it is easy to get their attention but you will also be negatively affecting their self-esteem. Mean comments, or those that aren’t mean but don’t think before you speak like you’re disappointed in them, can negatively affect their self-esteem, their mood, and their desire to try new things. successes and failures of people are forged along with character.
When your child makes mistakes, do not focus on your child, it is necessary to forget criticism and focus better on action or in the behavior rather than in the child. You have to get used to differentiating the actions of people -at all ages-.
2. Praise them too much
That’s right, poorly focused praise can damage self-esteem and confidence, although it is true that if you do it well and at the right time, both things can be strengthened. You need to know when to use this positive feedback tool.
Specific actions of children such as their effort or skills need praise to feed back and children return to do positive actions and thus achieve goals instead of personal traits. This will help children know that effort is very important.
3. Control their lives
Instead of trying to control every facet of your children’s lives, it’s best to guide them until they know how to acquire certain skills on their own. You can give them space to explore the world and discover things for themselves. As they grow, you will be able to talk to them so that they are able to make good decisions. Support them in their interests as they gain new skills.
4. Do everything for them
Although you can probably do more things faster and more efficiently than young children, you need to let them do some things on their own to encourage their independence and sense of efficacy. When you complete a task for your child you will be taking away their self-esteem, on the other hand, if you allow them to get dressed or help you wash the dishes, then they will be feeling capable. They will be able to solve problems, think for themselves, try new options and learn to deal with possible obstacles.
5. Seeking perfection or comparing them
Setting standards that are too strict for your children can have the opposite effect to the desired one, children can develop anxiety and feel fear of disappointing you. Let your children learn from their mistakes, teach them to make mistakes and learn from them because it is not a failure, it is learning. They will learn to see things from different perspectives.
Also, one of the biggest mistakes a parent makes is comparing one child to another. It doesn’t matter to whom the comparison is made , the child will feel that he is not good enough and this will destroy his self-esteem. No two people are the same and it is never good to make a comparison.