We live in a competitive society where it seems that being the first in everything is the most important thing. You have to be strong in the face of any adversity and for this reason, children must always have outstanding grades in school, without no matter what your personal or emotional circumstances are. Children are only prepared to face success, to win. Losing is frowned upon, and so is crying.
Crying seems to be for the weak and therefore, you have to be the best… you have to cancel your emotions so that they don’t get in the way! Nothing is further from reality. Emotions are necessary to grow, to achieve success, so that everything goes well. Competitions in schools for 7-year-olds (for example) should be banned. They are not prepared to put up with that level of anxiety. Also, if one wins… everyone else will feel like a loser.
Life is full of failures
It is necessary to prepare our children for frustration and failure, because life is full of it. Failing to do so is endangering their mental health, something for which they could end up paying too high a bill in the long run. Life is full of obstacles, moments of mourning, loneliness… And going through it doesn’t make us weak, quite the opposite. It is necessary to accept emotions, feel them and name them so that failures do not drown people’s minds or fill them with darkness.
Perfectionism does not exist, so that it is best to stop looking for it. We live in a chaotic world full of intense emotions and it is time to start educating children in this so that, in the future, they can tolerate their failures well and realize that in Sometimes mistakes are the best teachers.
If we don’t do this, we won’t be preparing children to face difficulties. Childhood depression and anxiety are real problems that cloud the undeveloped minds of children and adolescents. This causes them to become adults with severe emotional problems. It is sad that there are children as young as 9 years old who are diagnosed with depression or anxiety disorder when their life, in principle, is with all their needs well covered and they have a family that loves them above all else. >
Let him lose and tell him it’s okay!
It doesn’t have to matter if your child isn’t the fastest in math or if he loses the reading contest in the school. Nothing happens either if his team loses or if he comes out last in a cycling competition. What matters is working on his happiness, seeing him smile and realizing that life is worth living. Life is to be enjoyed and so that those setbacks that it inevitably gives us… are accepted with tenacity, because that is what life is: chaos and wonder.
In this sense, it is essential to work on Emotional Intelligence from the moment children arrive in this world, and this should be a priority for parents. It is essential that parents go out of their way to make their children show their emotions, to talk about their weaknesses, so that they are able to find solutions to their problems, whatever they are and whatever age they are.
It is necessary for parents to create children who are emotionally self-sufficient… because nothing happens for failing an exam or not being the first in the class if there has been a constant effort to improve oneself, and without comparing yourself to others.
The effort and emotions
The effort, dedication and passion, generosity for oneself and for others, the struggle, solidarity or loyalty… all this is the real prize. They are values that are necessary for life, for everyone… And that must be taught to children from their earliest childhood. For this, it is important to prepare them for failure, disappointment, chaos… Because it is part of life.
Prepare your children so that they are capable of facing difficulties, to strengthen their self-esteem, so that they they can have a good problem-solving capacity, that they have a positive attitude towards life, that they have a fighting spirit… of overcoming. That the setbacks in life do not turn into mental illnesses that can end their lives.
Parents are not machines
Parents are not machines And neither do our children. You are not an all-terrain vehicle that can handle everything. You also cry, you also get tired and you don’t always have to try to make everything perfect. They need to learn that weakness is not a bad thing and that sometimes we must allow ourselves to feel weak in order to move forward feeling stronger, knowing that we are not perfect.
Let your children see you cry and see it as something natural when you need to do it. If you are going through some emotional difficulties and you need to cry, it is not cowardly or weak to do so. On the contrary. If you cry it is because you are strong and you have decided to feel your emotions to understand what you need at each moment and this is a great lesson.
In this way, your children will accept their emotions and get all their strength to overcome life’s obstacles, not wanting to give up too quickly. They will know that happiness is not found in anything external, but within oneself. Remember that your children don’t need you to be perfect, they just need real parents.
Teach your children to enjoy life, to enjoy simple pleasures, do not fill their days with limits or rules… Praise their good behavior and fill their days with kisses, hugs and lots of love. Don’t reward with toys, if he makes a mistake, don’t get angry, let him rectify it… you make mistakes too, we’re all human.