Sometimes adolescent children behave inappropriately because they do not know how to express their emotions or their unmet needs. If you ask your children why they do something in particular, they will most likely answer you with a broad ‘I don’t know’ because they may not even know why they really behave like that. But if, on the contrary, they are asked what happens to them when they behave like this, it will be the best way to get answers.

What happens to them will be physical and emotional and you will have to ask them how they feel in order to gradually find the right answer. Teenagers may be embarrassed during this time for many reasons and are trying to figure out what they are, who they are and their place in the world. That’s why teens continually explore and experiment to find out where they belong.

One of the reasons they behave in a socially acceptable way is because they avoid the embarrassment they may feel if they they don’t do things right. If you need to direct your children’s behavior you should do it without shaming them. Whatever you do, don’t do it in public. Let your teen know that you’re proud of them, that you think they’re awesome, and why, and they’ll feel much more confident.

Validate their needs and reject the behavior

Validating his needs is necessary for him to realize that you are by his side at all times and that you understand how he may be feeling. Even the most disconcerting, enraged, or inappropriate behavior is a need of your child that deserves to be known. If your child spends hours and hours in his bedroom hooked on the Internet, it is clear that something is happening that is not normal. You need to talk about ways to get what you need in a way that works best and makes you feel good, making the relationship a win-win.

Find a way to meet the need

You may need help with this or it may take time and even a few discussions to figure it out. If you’re trying to replace the behavior that isn’t working but you don’t realize your child’s need, then you’re not going to come to a good end. You need to be patient in order to figure out what’s affecting your child .

Decide the values ​​you want to teach your children

This is sometimes even more important than the behaviors you want to teach. The most important values ​​that should not be missing in the education of children: respect, honesty, transparency, kindness and integrity. Getting these values ​​right will make the correct behavior the next step. Part of your job as a parent is making sure your kids understand the lessons they need to learn and make sense of them.

Teenagers won’t learn respect if you yell at them or when they want you to listen to them you just don’t. Your kids won’t be honest if you don’t come clean first or if you get in trouble. Don’t expect your children to be kind and compassionate if they always feel judged…they won’t want to be wrong and won’t admit it if they do. Your children need to know when they do things right, your approval means a lot to them.

The relationship with your teenagers will not be the same as when they entered this stage as when they leave it and whether you are an adult… but this is what happens with adolescence. They will learn from you and in the end they will become different people from you… but very similar at the same time. That’s why it’s so important to understand the changes, understand parenting, love and how your child will thrive and become an amazing adult… thanks to having parents who have been by their side all along.