We all like to win, but what happens when we lose? Learning is required to tolerate the frustration that is generated and it is not always easy to achieve it, right? There are many children who, when they lose, explode in a huge rage, blame others or can have a most considerable tantrum. As parents, we repeat that the important thing is to participate and have fun, but it seems that this reflection is not always effective.

The children who do not know how to lose

Nobody likes to lose, this is as true as a temple… but we must learn to manage the negative emotion that it produces in us. Children are still developing and their personalities are forming. They are 100% emotional beings and for this reason, it is even more important that they learn to deal with the frustrations and failures that arise in life.

It is true that there are children who accept defeat well, but it is not the most common. We parents are responsible for teaching our children the importance of learning that you don’t always win in life… And when you lose, you have to accept it with dignity.

Teach your children to lose

As you know, the most important step is that you are the best example for your children. If you don’t know how to lose, your children will learn your behavior and won’t accept defeat either. If you insult others when you lose, what do you expect your child to do? Exactly the same. Remember that your children are watching you every moment.

It is also essential to take care of what you say and how you say it. For example, if you are watching a soccer game and you say phrases like: “the other team is useless”, rather than encouraging them to win, you generate pressure so that the children only want to win and that if they lose, it will be a great disappointment. because they will feel that they have disappointed you.

Remember on the other hand, that labels are never good companions. Never label others as “loser” or “winner” because children will not understand that there is effort behind trying to achieve a goal. You will only understand things in a binary way: good or bad. Do not put the value only on the goal or the result, remember that the effort is always much more important.

Nobody deserves to feel defined by whether they win or lose, we are all much more than that. Things don’t always go as expected and that’s okay. What matters is knowing how to handle it correctly, to prevent the child’s self-esteem from being affected by things that are not in their power to change. You can try more or less, but you don’t always get the best results the first time.

In the effort it is necessary to find the balance, it is not necessary to demand more from them than they can give and always, what they must learn during that effort is to enjoy the moment. The process is the prize, not the goal. The mistakes that are made are our teachers and they will be the ones that help us improve.

Of course, it is extremely important to normalize that sometimes you also lose and this does not have to be a bad thing. It is an experience that helps us learn from mistakes and improve ourselves the next time. Because the goal is not to be better than another, it is to learn to improve ourselves.

Teach your children not to give up in the face of adversity when things get complicated and to persevere in life. Sometimes, when we feel very tense, we just need a little time and emotional distance to later return with more strength to what made us feel so frustrated before.

What we can never forget is the responsibility we have as parents to help them manage those emotions. Allow him to express them without having to insult, get angry, yell or maintain inappropriate behavior. Name his emotions and help him understand why he feels that way and what he can do to feel better in the future.

Losing is part of life, and it is what children should learn from a very young age… Defeat is not a disappointment, it is the opportunity to learn and do things in the best possible way in the future.