As parents, it’s natural that we want to see our children smile all the time. His smile fills us with joy. But if you really love your children, it is essential that you do not give them everything, because then you will be hindering their proper development. What’s more, there are times when tantrums teach both children and parents a lot, even if it means not pleasing everything they want. If you do, you’ll be making his future too dark…and when you think about it, you don’t want that!
We are no longer just talking about the Emperor’s syndrome that can occur in children when they have too permissive upbringing… we are talking about the fact that if, as parents, we give our children everything they ask for, you will be affecting them too much and in the long run, you will regret having done it and not having stopped in time.
The spoiled adult
When an adult is spoiled and doesn’t take no for an answer or has a level of frustration so low that they only feel anxiety in their day to day, it is because of their childhood. It happens because in his childhood his emotions were not treated as he needed and it was easier to give him everything to avoid tantrums than to really make him understand better what he felt through Emotional Intelligence .
A spoiled adult is also more likely to be a violent adult, without empathy and who only wants to achieve their goals without caring what others may suffer. Childhood marks us how we are in adult life. If you have young children, you need to learn to tell them no on time, even if it involves a moment of conflict.
These moments of conflict, if managed from the respect and deep love felt for children, will be a very effective tool for good child development. Children have to learn to deal with the emotions that make them feel bad, with the negative ones and above all, with not getting everything they want at all times.
On the other hand, if he gets everything he wants, in the future he will show aggressive behaviors both physically and emotionally. This is very dangerous for its development in all aspects.
A child who is not allowed to mature
When a child is given everything they want at the slightest provocation, they will not be able to mature properly according to their age. He will not know how to get things on their own merit from him nor will he value what he has. He will not be a grateful person because he will feel that everything he wants must be fulfilled and others must ensure that it is so, he will feel that he is the center of the universe and that others are his subjects.
When he grows up, he will look for people in his environment who give him everything as his parents did, being a demanding person with others, to the point of being immersed in toxic and abusive relationships. This of course, will make interpersonal relationships scarce and the few that you have, highly damaging.
A child who has been given everything in childhood will not be able to find happiness in his adult life because he will not feel satisfaction for anything. Unconsciously nothing can make him happy because he will always want more than what he has in his present… without valuing anything or anyone.
discipline is needed
For all this, discipline in childhood is so important, so that children learn to tolerate frustration and grow up with correct emotional stability. An adult who was a spoiled child will be a failed adult, who will not know how to face the adversities of life and will expect others to solve their problems, because they will not have the necessary tools to manage their own lives.
Without discipline a child will grow into a dependent and emotionally unstable adult. On the other hand, when a child is loved and the appropriate limits are placed for good parenting within positive discipline , then he will grow up to be an emotionally stable, independent adult with a good tolerance for frustration.
For children to have a good development it is important that they are denied some things from time to time. Being consistent with the decisions we make as parents and making them understand that you can’t always have what you want, no matter how much you want at a given time.
As parents, we must stand firm in the decisions we make. Do not give children confusing messages in education. They need emotional stability, coherence, security, limits, rules and above all, knowing what is expected of them at all times, with established routines at home.