We don’t do it consciously but it happens… sometimes our children are telling us something and without realizing it, we look more at the mobile, the TV or we focus more on our thoughts than on what they are telling us. You may think that they do not realize or that they will quickly forget that inattention towards them… but we assure you that it remains engraved in their hearts forever, in the form of an emotional wound.
It is possible that you answer with monosyllables because you are stressed with so many responsibilities and you do not even realize what you have answered without paying attention to your words. Later, you can scold him when he’s doing something you don’t approve of, but had approved moments before when you weren’t paying attention! Are you sure you have to scold him? Lexical family explained for children: Concept and examples.
Learn to be an active listener
If this is something that happens to you often, it’s time to start active listening with your children now. It is the only way to build strong bonds and that your child can have real trust with you, because it is the one that is established through good communication… full of affection, love, and attention!
Perhaps when your child speaks you do not understand him very well or you may even think that what he is saying is not important. This does not matter, your active listening skills must always be at its best to get to know your children, understand their emotions, their needs and above all, so that they feel loved and understood at all times.
Thus, they will be able to develop correctly, strengthening their self-esteem and self-confidence. They will grow with good emotional management because you will have helped them to do so thanks to your daily communication. This will help you to have healthier interpersonal relationships, to be assertive, to have your ideas and priorities clear, to have empathy and understand yourself… and all thanks to the fact that you kept listening actively throughout your childhood and adolescence!
Start listening to them right now
Although at first, if you are not in the habit of doing it, it may be somewhat complicated, the reality is that with practice it will be something that will come out on its own. You will be able to actively listen to him even if you have little time or you are not a very patient person. Practice will make you an expert in active listening, and we assure you, it will be worth it.
In order to work on your active listening with your children, take a look at the following keys to start achieving it right now. Communication will be improved and reinforced if you take into account the following:
- Take time to talk and listen to your children every day.
- Respect the time he needs to talk to you, don’t finish his sentences, allow him to express himself as he needs.
- He talks about everyday things, even if they are banal. In this way your children will acquire vocabulary to feel more capable of expressing their ideas in the future.
- Talk about emotions and feelings in a natural way at home. It is the only way for your children to identify and understand them.
- Be able to understand your children’s body language, on many occasions their gestures speak more than their words.
- When your children speak, do not interrupt them or judge their words. When they finish talking, ask them what you think and give them the advice you think is appropriate.
- Avoid lecturing, scolding, or lecturing when your children try to put their thoughts into words.
- Make mental notes to know what topic you want to return to when you finish speaking and thus clarify the points that you consider necessary.
But if there is something important in all this, it is that you are always available to listen to them when they need it. Even if they seem trivial to you, for them they are topics that really interest them, concern them or need to say. If they tell you, it’s because they trust you… don’t break that trust by not giving them the attention they deserve.