No matter what happens, no matter how you feel towards the other parent, it is never allowed to speak badly to your children about their father or mother. It is not allowed because you will create an emotional wound that will not heal easily (if it ever heals!). For your children, life is not the same since their father or mother left home. The dates indicated are reminders that he is no longer by your side every day, and they have a hard time.
Because in a separation or divorce it is not only the parents who have a hard time, the children are usually the most affected in all this. They just want to get back to normal, to see their parents together again, for the family to be united again… Or at least they want this at the beginning, when the pain is deepest.
Even if the mother or father deserves to be spoken ill of him/her, even if the pain is deep… just don’t do it. Redirect your pain so that your children do not feel that you want to hurt them in some way or another. Children will grow up and realize things, it is not necessary that you have to say anything painful to them… they will judge as they get older about the actions of their father or mother, you do not have to generate emotional discomfort by speaking badly .
Maybe you will learn to live without your other parent and in the end, forgive them in order to release the emotional pain you have felt long ago. But it is an internal process in which you should not interfere, although if you need it, you should guide his emotions so that he can understand and process them.
No one is perfect
No one is perfect in this life. No one knows how to be a father or a mother, some may be better than others, but no one is excellent at it. The important thing is to do the best you can, always thinking about the good of the children and the family nucleus, whether the parents are together or separated. A father can sometimes make mistakes with his children, but it is important to learn from those mistakes to try to do better in the future.
Being a father or mother is giving the best of yourself despite the storm, despite the difficulties… Fight for your children and that they are always your priority, but without forgetting yourself. If you are living with a person who does not respect you or who hurts you, letting him go from your lives is the wisest decision, because you will be able to live peacefully despite what you have experienced… But once he is out of your lives, it is not worth spending energy cursing another person and less in front of your children. They also need to live in peace without poisoning their thoughts.
Think about the well-being of your children
If you want to think about the well-being of your children, then never speak ill of their father or mother. You will only do more damage to them with that poison in the form of words. Do not do it, it is better that you focus on the happiness of your children and that you are well together. You may think that it is fair for your children to know what a bad person their father or mother is, but in reality you are doing them a disservice that will only cause them emotional damage.
Don’t let anger and resentment darken your heart since you will only be creating more pain and hatred, something that is neither fair nor good for your children.
Do not speak ill of parents to children
When you speak badly to your children about their mother or father, you will be disrespecting your child as a person and you will also be poisoning an innocent thought. Your children are not to blame for their mother or father being the person you chose to have them, nor are you to blame for what they did to you.
It is not necessary that tell them anything bad about their other parent, they’ll know what’s going on. You do not want to rush to tell them something with bad blood because they will notice. But of course, if one day your son asks you things, tell him the truth, honestly and without rancor. Always advocate calm…leave hatred aside.
When your son grows up he will feel grateful that you have not spoken ill of his father or mother even if he deserved it. He will realize what it means to respect another person, even if he doesn’t always deserve it. Above you or your emotions, is the emotional and mental well-being of your child. Think about that.