There are toxic phrases that we say to our young children and that we do not realize the damage they do to them both in the short and long term. For this reason, as parents, it is essential to be aware of what we say and bite our tongues if necessary so as not to damage the emotional health of our fragile children.
It is possible that sometimes we say these phrases with all the good intentions in the world, but in reality the words are loaded with poison and pierce the hearts of our little ones. The way we address our children is essential for their proper development, which is why both the tone and the words can affect them much more than you imagine. Vowels and consonants explained for children.
Stop thinking that your children are your property or that you can address them however you want, even if that includes disrespect. It’s as easy as talking to your kids the way you’d like them to talk to you. Just reflect on this and the changes will be noticeable in your home!
Toxic phrases that you should stop saying to your children, now!
There are the words that can help them grow and others that poison them in such a deep way that it takes them many years to recover from them, and if they ever recover. So if you tend to say some of these phrases without thinking or automatically, we invite you to stop doing it right now.
1. Look at your brother, he does it better than you
Comparisons are hateful at any level or age. If you compare your son, he will feel worse than another person, and if he is his brother, you will be increasing the risk of rivalry between the two. Look at their abilities, rather than their strengths and weaknesses.
2. You are a mess
This phrase is often said to children who are messy or clueless. It is not done with bad intentions, maybe you just want him to improve his attention to things in life… but this type of label has terrible consequences in the life of a child. Any adjective you give your child will be a label and they will feel reflected in it. If you say he’s a mess, he’ll think he really is and act like it.
Labels are easy to put on, but removing them is very difficult… there are people who drag them all their lives. Therefore, think of positive labels instead of labeling your child only with negative aspects… If you want him to behave better, think about how you can tell him to do so, for example: “I know you are nervous (instead of being nervous). you are very nervous), how about we sit on the couch and talk until you calm down?
3. You are a child, do not play with dolls
Phrases such as “You’re a girl, not toys with cars” would also work. Limiting boys and girls only because of gender differences is toxic and very harmful. Do not condition their development or their personality only because of social stigmas, which are also increasingly obsolete (fortunately). The social differences between women and men would be enhanced if the serious consequences on the development of children when saying these types of phrases were not taken into account.
4. Because I say so, period
This phrase is a way of forcing our children to blindly obey us, without giving them the opportunity to think for themselves. It is a toxic authority that seeks blind obedience, but the reality is that children need cooperation, to feel understood and guided by their parents. Educate your children in critical thinking.
5. Stop crying
When you tell a child to stop crying, what you are telling them is to cancel their emotions because they make you uncomfortable. He will feel that crying is a bad thing and will inhibit that emotion thinking that it is negative. Crying is actually a good thing and should be done whenever you need to. It is an emotional expression for all people.
If you have ever said any of these phrases to your children, it is time for you to reflect and stop saying them. In the event that you tell them different (but also toxic), try to speak to your children from love and affection, instead of doing it from anger or frustration.