Undoubtedly, the arrival of children has a great impact on the family and the difficulties in conciliation, just as the day-to-day of parenting constantly tests us as parents and as a couple.
It is not surprising the results of a survey carried out by the IV Family Law Observatory of the AEAFA , which indicates that the first reason why couples decide to divorce is “the wear and tear, estrangement and lack of communication that it leads to.” the stress of parenting and work . ”
He also points out that it is a decision that in our country is adopted especially between the ages of 40 and 50 , the age of “those who are often immersed in their upbringing. It is a critical stage,” says the member of the AEAFA, Álvaro Iraizoz Inmate.
Why do Spanish couples divorce?
The AEAFA lawyers listed the twelve reasons for divorce most cited by couples, in this order:
1) The burnout, estrangement and lack of communication caused by the stress caused by parenting and work .
“This stress can cause multiple discussions, some for inconsequential reasons, leading in the worst cases to abandonment, contempt or absolute indifference towards the other member of the couple. Excessive dedication to work, the complicated reconciliation of work and family or the frequent overload of one of the members of the couple in the tasks of child-rearing and those of home maintenance, among other aspects, lead to a breakup”, says the member of the AEAFA.
2) Falling out of love . Sometimes accompanied by the beginning of a relationship with a third person.
3) Infidelities .
4) Economic difficulties. “They make true the saying that when money goes out the door, love jumps out the window,” says Iraizoz.
5) Discrepancies arising from the upbringing and education of children . Completely different lifestyles and values are revealed.
6) The excessive presence of the respective political families that generally help, but sometimes also suffocate . Above all, when one of the members of the couple maintains links of excessive dependency with her family of origin.
7) Irritability or bad temper. At home, with our most intimate, our masks fall off. We take advantage of the trust of those who love us most and who need us to bring out the worst of our versions. Our true selves?
8) Choice of a partner with a character incompatible and irreconcilable with ours.
9) Addictions .
10) Gender violence , domestic violence, inappropriate treatment between the members of the couple.
11) Difficulty managing the emotions generated by the onset of illnesses, physical or mental, or aggravation of existing ones in a family member.
12) When one of the members of the couple “comes out of the closet” , accepting their true sexual orientation.
“The drama is not separating, but separating badly”
“Most of the people who live badly as a couple will identify with more than one of these causes.
Perhaps, identifying oneself in any of these situations is the first step to change the course that leads us directly to separation (if we still have time to correct it).
But if the rupture is irreversible, we must remember that, as we from the Spanish Association of Family Lawyers (AEAFA) maintain, the real drama is not separating, but separating badly ”, insists Iraizoz.