What is happiness? Happiness is not touched, nor is it seen… But it is felt. When someone is happy in front of us, we notice it, and when they are not happy… we also know it. As parents, our greatest desire is to see our children happy, to know that they are well and that they are satisfied with the life they lead.
One of the many doubts that parents may have in raising their children is whether they are really happy or not. How can you know if your child is really happy? Actually, there is a tool that allows us to know if children are happy and we want to share it with you so that you can also know it.
Happiness is not a goal, it is a path. It has to do with enjoying the little things, feeling loved by the people who are most important to oneself, etc. In short, it is feeling satisfied with life, not having any kind of suffering or need. There are also other elements that can help achieve that happiness, such as achieving your dreams in life, enjoying what you do, etc.
Happiness is something relative and subjective, this means that two people in same circumstances do not have to feel equally happy. There are children who always seem happy with little and others who with a lot, not so much. Although the circumstances can vary and the degree of happiness as well.
There are some important things for a child feels good: health, home, education, food, clothing, protection, love, respect, harmony in the home, good relationships with others, an upbringing that respects their needs, a healthy relationship with their parents and siblings, etc. It is also important that children are instilled with values that give them a good vision of life, skills necessary to be successful, etc. Although there are factors that depend on the child and his personality and temperament, the vast majority of factors depend on the environment, upbringing, the environment of the home and his family, etc.
The test of wishes
This test consists of asking your child some simple questions that will allow us to know the level of happiness they have depending on the answer they offer us. The star question is:
“If you could make three wishes, any wish! Which ones would you ask for? ”
From this question, the child’s answers will guide you to know if he is really happy or not. Their answers can be classified in different ways to know how they feel.
Responses that indicate happiness
A child who is happy will give you responses such as:
- A pet
- An ice cream
- A toy
- A super power
- Going to a park or special place, etc. .
Responses that indicate sensitivity
If a child is especially sensitive (and is not as happy as the children who give responses from the previous point) you will receive responses of the type:
- May there be peace in the world
- May your family be happy
- May your loved ones not get sick
- May they not Let there be bad people
- Let there be no world poverty, etc.
Responses that indicate concern or emotional instability
There are responses that can give you clues that your child is feeling sad, stressed or that does not feel happiness inside. In this case, it will be important to take it into account to find a solution that rebalances the child’s emotional state. A child who is restless or worried will give you responses such as:
- That my parents don’t fight
- That we have more money
- I don’t know be mad at me
- Have more friends
- Have a better body
- Be smarter, etc.
These answers do not exist to let them pass since they clearly show you the insecurities and fears of your children, thoughts that do not allow them to be well, nor satisfied with the life they lead. If you receive any of these responses, you will have to find a solution to the circumstances that affect your children in this way.
Their responses tell you about their feelings
Even if it is abstract and you have to intuit what is happening to your child, it is important to be aware that what he is telling you are his feelings. He may not yet have the ability to understand his emotions, but the reality is that the answer he gives you is enough to know what his true feelings are.
There is an alternative that you can use in case think that your child is emotionally mature enough to be able to answer. This consists of asking him directly if he is happy and also asking him why he thinks what he thinks. It is important that as parents, you remember that your main duty is to teach children to find happiness and to be able to enjoy of life.