Parents want our children to know how to respect others, we want to teach them empathy and also assertiveness. All this is very important in the growth of a human being, but above all it is necessary that they learn to respect themselves above all. It’s not always easy or possible to get away from toxic people, but if your children have your support they will be able to minimize their influence and not have a negative impact on their development.
Toxic relationships in children
Children need to know that adults do not always support other adults for the mere fact of be. They should know that adults do not like people who contaminate our happiness or who want to tarnish the concept of ourselves.
Toxic relationships are those that with their negative behavior can cause emotional damage and contaminate the way a child sees himself. They can lead to anxiety, depression, even physical illness, and even isolation. Children may blame themselves for feeling guilty or ashamed of being around a toxic person.
Teaching children to listen to their inner voice
We all have an inner voice that helps us to go on the right path, but we must learn to listen to it to know how People around us see us, how we see ourselves and knowing what we have done well and what we have done badly.
When an adult is toxic there is a risk that the inner voice of the child will be contaminated and influenced by the toxic person, creating emotional damage to children. Children are impressive beings and our job as adults in their lives is to make sure that they know how to minimize the effect of anyone who can influence them in a negative way. When a child feels silly, slow, troublesome, mischievous… there will always be the comment of a toxic adult, it is time for children to know how to differentiate toxic behavior from people.
Children have emotional intelligence
Children have emotional intelligence and know how to differentiate between a bad day, a bad mood, a bad moment or something more lasting and specific. Children see us as confirmation and validation of the world around them. That is why it is important to support the other adults in their lives as much as possible so that they know that good deeds exist, but at the same time if there are adults with bad intentions or bad behavior, it is equally important that they let kids know that we don’t support those behaviors at all.
Who can be toxic people in a child’s life
Toxic people can come in the form of teachers, coaches , relatives, friends and even their own parents. The only thing that a person has that is toxic is their mouth and the power to harm us or not, is in us. By this he means that we have the power to make a person harm us or not with their toxic behaviors.
Adults should be a source of support, security and trust in children… or At the very least, they shouldn’t harm the child. When they are a source of embarrassment, anxiety, or stress, they are a risk to the child and should not be allowed. Although it is important to provide our children with the opportunity to be resilient in the face of difficult people. Part of being resilient is knowing when to draw a line between ourselves and other people (set limits). Children need our permission and our guidance to be able to get away from people who hurt them because they are toxic.
Not everyone is toxic
This does not mean that you withdraw your attention to all the adults who make decisions that we don’t like. We are all human and life often disappoints us with decisions that we do not like or with aspects that go against our path. To become a successful adult, it is necessary to learn to recover from disagreements and disappointments, it is necessary to work on resilience and Emotional Intelligence to educate emotionally strong children.
If in your child’s life you notice that there are changes in their behavior or in the way they feel, It will be time for you to listen to what he has to tell you, even if it is without words. Never let your child put up with put-downs or put-downs from other people who are toxic.