As mothers we want our children to know in some way that we love them more than anything in the world. We know that parenting is not easy but the love we feel for them is above anything else. We don’t mind being sleepy, tired or working double shifts so that they don’t lack for anything. It is our maternal instinct, which will always be at the foot of the canyon for them. For this reason, when a child disrespects us, we are shocked, we do not always know how to react, but what is clear is that we do not want it to happen again.
It is possible that when it happens you have doubts and feel confused. Is he really disrespecting you? Have you exaggerated his words or perhaps the stress of all your responsibilities has made you see things that are not really true? How is it possible that your dear son whom you love so much is disrespecting you? You know something is wrong, but you don’t know what exactly it is.
How to know if your child is disrespecting you
The line that separates respect from disrespect is quite thin and therefore, as a mother, you must know when they are crossing it to take action as soon as possible so that it does not happen again. But when does it happen? Your child will have exceeded the limit when:
- yells at you
- challenges you
- requires you
- is hurtful to you
- Throw things on the ground
- strikes blows
- He kicks what he has within his reach when he gets angry
- knock on doors
- threatens you
- insults you
- Try to hit you or raise your hand
All these behaviors show that the boy or girl has exceeded the limit of respect, but each and every one of them will also be showing you that the boy or girl is desperately calling for your attention so that their wishes are fulfilled and your children go as far as where they have been allowed, or to where they have learned by imitating the behavior of their primary caregivers.
If you disrespect your son, he will disrespect you. If you allow him to be disrespectful, he will continue to do so and you will witness more and more intense emotional explosions that will cause serious problems in family life. It is important that when your son or daughter shows this disrespect that you know how to act quickly and that the circumstances do not get out of control.
What to do if your child disrespects you
Next we are going to explain some strategies that you should take into account so that in this way, you can have an adequate family life and that your child does not disrespect you anymore. Of course, the most important thing to keep in mind is that you set a good example of respect for your child. In this way you will be able to receive the behavior that you want him to have with you, because it will have been you first who respected him.
Be aware that your behavior and your attitude towards him or her will always have the most influence on his or her behavior. If you yell at him, he will yell at you. If you insult him, he will insult you. If you attack him, he will attack you . That is why it is so important to control our own anger or our most intense emotions so that calm is our company whenever we have to educate our children. In addition to this, you can take into account all the following. What to do when your child tells you that he hates you?
be your best example
To be your best example you must be aware of your actions and your words towards your child. You must have good emotional control so that you understand that there are disrespectful words and bodily behaviors that can have the same impact without the need for words (such as holding his arm, looking at him with contempt, etc.).
Don’t let him pass no disrespect
Sometimes, it is possible that depending on your mood or how tired you are one day, you let certain disrespects go by and other days you don’t. For example, if you are in a good mood or in the company of other people, you may miss some disrespect that in other circumstances you would not have missed. This really should not happen, and you should never allow your child to disrespect you, by doing it sometimes yes and sometimes not, your child will feel confused. He always has the same way of proceeding in the face of disrespect.
Every action has consequences
It is important for your child to understand that all actions have consequences and therefore, if your child disrespects you (or someone else), demand an apology. Maybe he doesn’t want to do it at first, so you should make him understand the importance of respecting others to be respected yourself.
Make him understand that this behavior has consequences and be firm when it comes to complying with them. It is important that your son understands what exactly he has done wrong and what you expect from him next time in terms of his behavior towards you.
be aware of emotions
Help your child to express how he feels and to understand the emotions he is expressing with those disrespects. Likewise, it’s also important that he understands how you feel (although you won’t give power to those words and act firmly without taking it personally). If necessary, find a solution together to what makes him feel bad but always learning to express his emotions correctly and without the need to hurt anyone or have bad behavior.
If you have some responsibility for your child’s attitude, assume it. Your child will realize that being responsible for one’s own actions is essential to be able to mend mistakes and that you are also doing your part to improve family life and everyone’s happiness. Respect must always be something bidirectional, so both parties must be aware that love and respect must always go hand in hand.