Did you know that Spain is one of the European countries with the highest rate of young people who neither study nor work? The rate rises to 19.9% of young people who do not have clear goals, according to the latest report by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. Known as the “nini” phenomenon – neither studying nor working – it refers to adolescents and young people who are not motivated to study, but are neither interested in working nor have long-term goals in their lives. However, although it is considered to be an attitude typical of the adolescent stage, it is actually a problem that begins to take shape much earlier.
The causes of this behavior
Many of the adolescents and young people who are not interested in studies, stop listening to their parents and do not collaborate at home were overprotected children. During their childhood, their parents showered them with gifts and pampering and cared excessively about them, to the point of solving all their problems and making most of their decisions. However, far from helping them, they were actually hindering their development and raising insecure children, incapable of tolerating frustration, making decisions on their own and assuming responsibilities. Grooming and hygiene routines according to the age of your young child.
In the end, these children never had the opportunity to test their abilities, discover their true interests and passions in life, and develop the necessary self-confidence. The result? Young people who go through everything and who do not have a clear plan for their life, basically because they know that their parents will be there to solve their problems and they prefer to stay in their comfort zone.
However, not all young people who are irreverent and skip school were “victims” of their parents’ overprotection, in other cases they were rebellious children. These are children who were easily irritated, who had a hard time following the rules and who enjoyed disobeying their parents because it made them feel powerful. Behind this attitude, in fact, low self-esteem is hidden in some cases and in others, a lack of clear limits and an overly permissive educational style on the part of parents and other adults.
Basically, they were children who grew up doing whatever they wanted, who knew no limits in their daily lives and, therefore, did not learn to respect the rules. Growing up they became challenging youngsters who go against the grain and find it difficult to follow the rules. Young people who find it difficult to obey adults and who are not interested in their long-term future.
What can you do to prevent your child from becoming a “nini”?
The best strategy for raising happy, independent young people is to stop overprotecting your young children . Obviously, this does not mean that you do not help them, what is more, it is important that they know that you are there for them if they really need your help, but give them the freedom to be the ones who carve their own path. Here are some keys that can help you.
1. Bet on healthy neglect
Children do not need you to pay attention to them 24 hours a day, this not only overwhelms them but also takes away their freedom to discover the world on their own. In fact, it’s okay that you can’t pay attention to them from time to time, in fact, it will be positive for them. Thus, the little ones can dedicate themselves to doing the things they like the most while they learn to manage their free time and you will have a little more time for yourself and you can dedicate yourself to enjoying your favorite hobbies.
2. Encourage their independence and let them make their own mistakes
Children have a limited view of the world, but despite this they are capable of making some decisions on their own. Obviously, they will not always be right, but mistakes are also a fundamental part of learning and, if well managed, they stimulate their self-confidence and autonomy. So let them err, let them fall, pick themselves up and start over. Far from harming them, you will be preparing them for life
3. Educate them for change
Children need a certain degree of stability to feel safe. However, we live in a very turbulent society in which changes and uncertainty are the daily bread, so it is important to prepare children for when they have to face this reality alone. A good way to achieve this is to encourage an open attitude to change so that, from an early age, they learn to deal with uncertainty and do not become too attached to the circumstances or things around them.
4. Show them reality as it is
Many parents often sugarcoat reality for their children by creating a world of happiness that doesn’t exist. Obviously, it is important that children have good memories of their childhood, but that does not mean that they should not know the world in which they live and the reality that awaits them out there , since, sooner or later, they will have to face it. Of course, it is not about overwhelming them or making them feel bad, but about preparing them for life and teaching them that the most important things usually require a lot of time, work and sacrifice. Without a doubt, a very simple way to forge them for the future and stimulate their responsibility from an early age.
5. Teach them to deal with problems
Keeping children in a glass capsule to prevent them from having to deal with problems will only increase their fear of life. And there is nothing more paralyzing than fear. Therefore, if you want to educate children capable of overcoming obstacles without becoming victims of stress, anxiety and panic attacks, nothing better than preparing them for it. As far as possible, try not to mask the difficulties you have at school and family problems, talk about them in a natural way, teach them to assume them from an objective position and motivate them to find a solution.