When parents defend their children's bad behavior

When children are young they usually play with their peers under the supervision of parents, who are always willing to intervene to resolve the small disputes that often arise over toys. However, when they start kindergarten or schoolchildren will have to face their conflicts on their own. And they won’t always get it right, there will be times when they get carried away and hit a partner for no reason or make fun of another.

It is the job of parents to talk to their children to make them understand the consequences of these bad behaviors. However, there are times when parents defend these behaviors and do not give their arm to twist. These are parents for whom everything their children do is right. In fact, when other parents talk to them, they tend to resort to different strategies to defend their children’s misbehavior and prevent them from having to take responsibility.

How do these parents?

  • They always have an excuse at hand. These parents want to evade responsibility for their children, so they are not willing to admit that they have done something wrong. They always have a good explanation for what happened so that their child is not forced to apologize.
  • They turn the victim into the aggressor. In many cases, these parents they manage to turn the situation around and turn the victim into an aggressor. They do not hesitate to place the responsibility on the other child, claiming that it was not their child who caused the problem.
  • They are offended. In other cases, these parents adopt an attitude offended, they say that they cannot believe what their child has done and even deny it, discrediting other adults and ignoring the evidence.
  • They minimize the fact. Some parents try to solve the problem by minimizing what happened and stating that it’s just a child’s thing. By downplaying the matter, they ignore it, so they do not reflect with their child on what happened and they can continue to roam freely.

Parents defend children's misbehavior

What to do if you find parents like this?

Go to the school

In a perfect world, people should understand each other, or at least be open and sensitive to the needs of others more. However, if you come across one of those parents who are unwilling to acknowledge their child’s misbehavior, it’s best not to argue with them. Getting angry will not do any good since this way you will end up falling into their game. For this reason, it is best to go directly to the school. Talk to the teachers and ask them to exercise extreme vigilance so that this type of situation does not happen again. If the school does not take action on the matter, you can file a formal complaint with the study council.

Prepare your child

It is not simply about preparing him to face that specific situation but any other type of similar conflict that you may have in the future. Remember that your task as a father or mother is not to solve problems for your child, but to give him the tools he needs to solve them on his own. Therefore, talk to him and explain that violence never is the answer, teach him to maintain a firm attitude and respond verbally with confidence as this is the best way to disarm a bully. And remember to give him enough confidence so that he can always come to you when he needs it. This is the best way to avoid being bullied silently.