If you are already a family of three, you are probably thinking of giving your child a little brother or sister . It is clear that the situation is not the same as with the first pregnancy. Time has passed (in some cases more, in others less) and you already have a son who demands all your energy. If the idea of becoming parents again is making the rounds, we talk about when to look for a second pregnancy .
A little brother or sister is the most valuable gift you can give a child , but there are many factors that go into deciding whether to go for the second .
Some reasons that can tip the balance to one side or the other are the age of the mother and father, as well as the age of the older brother, the economic situation, family pressures or other decisive personal issues.
As we know, women are mothers at increasingly advanced ages. In Spain, the majority have their first child after the age of 30 and 30 percent have their first child after the age of 35, which means that it is very likely that if they decide to have a second baby, it will arrive after the age of 35.
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Many women have them before, but the truth is that the biological clock does not stop and the chances of achieving pregnancy decrease significantly the older the woman is. From the age of 35, the chances of pregnancy are around ten percent and from the age of 40, 3 percent.
In other words, the age of the woman is a very important factor , both because of the chances of pregnancy and because of the complications that pregnancy and childbirth can entail at certain ages .
Many couples, after having the first baby, rush to have the second because 40 is already upon them. The argument of some women who have delayed their motherhood and want to have a second child is “I’m old enough, so the time is now or never” .
Not only must the biological age of the mother be taken into account, but that of the father is also important. Due to the added risks, just as the mother’s age is taken into account, the paternal age must also be considered when starting a family.
Much is said about the complications of pregnancy and childbirth related to maternal age, but paternal age at the time of conception is also important. Babies born to parents over 45 years of age are more likely to be premature and to present risks or complications during delivery, such as low birth weight.
The energy of the parents
In addition to the biological age of the mother and father, we must not forget the energy . Taking care of a small baby demands a lot of energy on the part of the parents. It is not advisable to face a second pregnancy with a discharged battery. Although we may take less care of ourselves in the second pregnancy , the second baby deserves our attention and care just as much as the first.
And I’m not just talking about the energy we need to take care of a child and a pregnancy because that’s just the beginning. We must also think about the future , five or ten years from now, because the children will continue to need us one hundred percent and in general the energies are not the same at 40 as at 50.
older brother’s age
There are many theories about the age difference between siblings , but the truth is that there is no precise rule about the best time to have a second child, that depends a lot on the particular situation of each family.
There are those who prefer to have their children very close together and as soon as the postpartum period is over, they start looking for the second. They choose to have the two children at a similar stage of development, thinking that they have the same affinities, play together and attend to more or less the same needs.
On the other hand, there are those who prefer to give all their attention to one for the first five or six years, and then go for the second.
From the biological point of view, according to a meta-analysis on the intergenic interval (time between pregnancies) and perinatal complications, the optimal time is not less than 18 months (year and a half) nor more than 59 months (almost 5 years) .
When the second pregnancy does not arrive
When looking for a sibling, they usually have the same expectations as with the first pregnancy, believing that everything will be the same, but when the second child is late in coming , it is a cause for great concern.
When a couple has difficulty conceiving after having a normal pregnancy, it is referred to as secondary infertility .
The causes of this type of sterility are usually advanced age, in the case of women, and reduced seminal quality, in the case of men.
If you have trouble getting pregnant again, see a specialist. If you are over 35 years old, and you have been having sex for more than six months without achieving pregnancy, it is time to consult a specialist.