Have you ever heard that Japanese children never throw tantrums and always obey? In our culture it seems difficult to believe, therefore, it is important that we take into account some aspects about it.
In Japanese culture they usually have a lot of control over their emotions and do not lose it in difficult situations and have great respect for others. But what impresses most in their culture is the great capacity for work and how children behave so perfectly in the classroom and at home , how can it be?
Japanese children are usually well behaved, with good manners and do not throw tantrums or lose control. They seem to have a well-managed tolerance for frustration, and in the West we find that unbelievable!
In a society like ours, we find it hard to believe that they have achieved a society where self-control, temperance and respect are the most important all the time and at any age.
Do they have good parenting methods or do they act through fear? We tell you…
the japanese family
Japanese families have a very close relationship between all the members of the same, giving a lot of value to the relationship between generations. The bond is full of affection and the elderly are respected above anything else because they are considered wise beings thanks to all their experience accumulated through their long life.
On the other hand, the elderly always receive children and young people with affection because they consider them developing beings who must learn, so they have patience with them at all times. They become your guides.
But in addition to taking all this into account, Japanese families and society in general are very clear that limits are necessary. For example, they do not seek exchanges of favors in relationships, each one is responsible for their own lives and grandparents will never take care of their grandchildren to do their parents a favor (either due to lack of time, wanting free time or even for being sick).
In families and in society, everyone has their place and must fulfill their responsibilities. Responsibilities that are well marked and that, in addition, everyone must fulfill so that social and family balance is found at all times.
Parenting and sensitivity
You may be surprised to learn that Japanese family upbringing is not marked by fear or authoritarian limits… but rather, by mutual respect and sensitivity. Yelling will never be approved between relationships and therefore, they focus on respect among all, while respecting the sensitivity that may be had at various times.
Parents only have to, through their eyes, disapprove of a behavior so that the child realizes that he has not done well and that he must rectify his behavior. They can use words to give more emphasis to the behavior and highlight it, but always with respect and without raising their voices. For example, they can use phrases such as: “you have hurt him”. They try to highlight how bad behavior causes harm in some way… and therefore should not be repeated.
Thanks to the fact that children from an early age learn to be sensitive to everything around them, they internalize what mutual respect is faster.
What can never be missing
What can never be lacking in a Japanese family is quality time between all its members. Parents strive to find quality time for their children among all their responsibilities. They prioritize that over anything else.
Although from the West it seems that his upbringing is distant, in reality it is quite the opposite. They get involved in creating close emotional bonds with their children. In fact, from their culture they do not understand how children can be mistreated or just yelled at.
When a Japanese woman is a mother, she takes her children everywhere with her and doesn’t take them to school until they are 3 years old. This is so to generate deeper bonds between mother and children. In addition, they encourage communication between family members. Family stories are told between generations that give children a great sense of identity, and family company and learning to listen to the words of others are also valued.
Because of all this, it is very difficult for a Japanese child to have tantrums, because they have millennia of advantage in terms of upbringing from respect and deep love, as well as respect for elders and everything that concerns family life.
They understand that emotional explosions are not necessary, although we, in the West, see them as essential to be able to understand emotions, give them a name and know that they are essential for life and for understanding it.