Adolescents begin to have new experiences at this time and it is necessary for parents to have talks with them in order to make them aware of the risks of some actions that they may have impulsively, such as drinking and having sex or simply having sex. Alcohol will affect your ability to make good decisions and so you need to be responsible in your lives.
It is important that they are able to make decisions for themselves about sex, that they do not feel fear, shame or insecurity. We want them to feel in control, to feel strength and security. This will only be achieved through good conversations. It’s very important for parents to be open to information, even about things they may not feel quite ready to explain… but it’s necessary for teens to make good decisions about sex. There are some ways to make this happen, but how to do it?
Without your trust nothing will be achieved, your children need your trust and to know that everything you say is true They need to feel safe in your words. For them it is necessary that you have an open mind about some things, in this way your children can trust your judgment about things that they may not be prepared for.
If you want to influence in the life of your children you should not be an alcoholic person nor should you have sex with anyone, they will need to see in you a good example to be a good adult of reference. Don’t just decide the things that are right, show them. Let your children know that sex is a wonderful thing when the time is right under certain conditions.
Let them ask what they need
If you want that your children trust you, then it is important that you talk openly about sex. An open mind is a wonderful thing that will help them foster their curiosity so that they feel safe to talk to you whenever they need information or guidance on any matter they need. If they ask a question and you don’t know how to answer it, then you can look for the answer next to them or tell them that you don’t know the answer and that later you will look for the information and answer it.
Don’t give them rules, give them better information
The idea is to empower them, not control them… because they have to be able to make decisions on their own . Control is just a clear message that you don’t trust them and their ability to make decisions, and if you don’t trust your teens, they’ll have a hard time trusting you and themselves, too. When you think they may be making a wrong decision (or before doing so) then don’t hesitate to give them the information they need so they are more aware of what they want to do.
Allow that they have a voice and a vote
Adolescents need to know that they have a voice and a vote in all the decisions that affect them, otherwise they will be looking for another person to decide for them at critical moments in their lives, something inadvisable for his future. They are experimenting with their view of the world and their place in it. For this reason, you need to ask for their opinion, their ideas, what they want and why it is important. Your kids need you to support them when you should and when they don’t expect you to.
Sex is about feelings
Sex is about feelings because it’s a physical experience, but also an emotional one. Sex is to be enjoyed and this will not happen if you are not emotionally connected with the person you want to have sex with. If there is doubt, pressure, or a disconnect, then sex is probably not a good idea, because it will only lead to regret. Intuition will help them know what is best for them.