I remember that a while ago I opened a closet at home and saw a lot of suits, jackets, dresses and shirts hanging from the closet rod. It was the clothes he wore when he worked in banks and law firms.

I remember that it made a great impression on me. I did not know if I would ever put them on again … I remember happily at the time I wore them, but I also remember that those suits always went on and on.

“Study this master’s degree that will open the doors to a good office”, “Enter this office that in the future will allow you to go to that other company”, “Study English that you will ascend faster”, “train yourself, work hard, walk around the long corridors to present the writings for correction ”… always on the move, those suits never stopped, they always went to another place .

When Earthman came into my life, when motherhood came , those steps stopped. Another music began to play, another dance. And I stopped walking thinking about the future , about reaching higher, to dance only with the present .

It is now that Jan is little, it is now that he needs me, that he wants me by his side and that he asks me to dance together to nursery rhymes or party songs. Sometimes we dance apart and sometimes he asks me to pick him up and dance close together.

By this I do not mean to work or not, to do more or less hours … but to be present when I am with Jan, without haste. See you, accompany you, without having shopping lists, tasks to do, etc. go through your head without stopping. etc. Be awake when things happen.

My personal decision has been to temporarily park my work, yes, because the office hours are not kid-friendly at all … and I didn’t want it for myself or the little one, but above all we are together every day because we love and enjoy it, even if there is someone think that I have thrown years of training and work overboard … but the Clara that I am now does not consider these things. I live today, because the future of children is always today , the present, tomorrow will be late (Gabriela Mistral).

Tomorrow will be late to breastfeed, tomorrow will be late to collect (he will collect with others), tomorrow will be late to see him grow, to make play dough together, tomorrow will be late to read stories before going to sleep, tomorrow will be late to enjoy childhood … will be late.

For once in my life I want to be punctual, to be at the right moment when things happen , when he starts to crawl, when he takes his first steps, when he falls asleep without a breast for the first time, when he falls, when he gets sick, when he wakes up in the morning, when he cries with laughter …

AND I AM, HERE AND NOW, ENJOYING TO THE FULL.

If I’m still here tomorrow … I may put those suits back on (if they fit me, hahaha), or maybe not, I may dress in something else, dedicate myself to gardening, fashion, baking … or I may Think big and fly high, but I hope I never forget that I live now, that the future is today and that tomorrow will be late.

Enjoy your little ones while they are! And I hope we can all enjoy our children when they are adults too, of course.

I finish with this photo, in which you see how with maternity the color and the costumes have come into my life and far away was the closet full of black and gray, hahaha.