Unfortunately there are people who think that they will find happiness by having a child. They believe that all their emotional problems will vanish and that they will be able to focus all their love on their child so that they can return happiness. But happiness is not something that is found externally in the world, it must be found within the heart.
You don’t have to have children to find that happiness or fulfillment that you yearn for so much… It is essential to find all that before becoming parents. If you don’t know why this is so or you were thinking of having children to culminate your life and your happiness, keep reading because this interests you.
Having a child, to be happy?
There are couples who either because they have been together for many years or because they begin to feel that their love is being lost and begins to have no meaning, they decide to have a child. They have it to give meaning to their lives at a time when they don’t really know which way to go. They can also have children due to social pressure, to expand the family because it was a wish to have a specific number of children, etc.
There can be many reasons, but when you are not happy or feel existential fulfillment, then it will not make us happy. In fact, the true meaning of being parents is another and has nothing to do with seeking one’s own happiness through others.
feel happy to have children
Therefore, you don’t have to have a child to be happy… you have to feel happy before thinking about having children! It doesn’t matter if you are male or female, it is the same for you. What is really necessary is that you are happy with yourself and with the life you lead. This way you can truly share that happiness with your child. Otherwise, you will share with him some feelings and a way of being somewhat darker… something that no innocent being deserves.
Thinking that a child will be the complete reason to achieve happiness is absurd, since they will not make you have a perfect or idyllic life. If you have a child to make you happy, there will come a time when you will feel intense and negative emotions that will make you question things about life and even about the love you feel for your children. You will feel guilty and you will return, like the fish that bites its tail, to the beginning of your sadness.
Happiness before having children
Happiness is not a treasure chest that you can find in a corner of the world, far from it. Happiness, as we mentioned at the beginning, is something that is within you and if you want to find it, you just have to enjoy life, the little things, fight for your goals and feel good about yourself and the people around you. surround.
Sometimes, doing little things that make you feel good is enough, because your mind does not know how to distinguish between the happiness that a chocolate or a walk in nature gives you from the one that the arrival of a child gives you. Such is the mind! Therefore, it is essential that you learn to enjoy those little things so that when the biggest things in life happen to you (like having children), you can really enjoy them and that your children enjoy you all their lives.
Happiness is temporary, it comes and goes… This means that you will not be happy 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. In order to feel happiness, you also have to go through sadness. That’s life and you have to know how to get the good part.
Being parents, happiness or unhappiness?
If you want to know if being a father or mother will bring you happiness or not, the answer is that it will depend on you. There are people to whom it does bring happiness because they already had it before, and others, who only get stressed and have a worse time, because they did not have good emotional management before being happy.
Individual happiness does not depend on your children and your children do not deserve to have that burden and responsibility on you. There are even people who think that since they have children they are less happy than when they did not have them due to lack of time, tiredness, parenting, more expenses and responsibilities, etc.
There is a phrase that is good for you to repeat in your mind before having children and if you already have them, work on this: If the parents are happy, the children are happy.
Children need their parents to be strong, self-confident, happy , knowing how to enjoy every moment of life… This way they can be present in their children’s lives and they can grow up with high self-esteem, self-confident and capable. to enjoy in a healthy way the love towards themselves and towards others.