Parents cannot be chosen and unfortunately many children have to deal with parents who – while doing things with their best intentions – do more harm than good in the fragile developing minds of children. children. Toxic parents may have difficulty growing up or being independent adults, it may be difficult for them to develop the intimate relationships they need on their own. But if a father or mother is toxic, it can have consequences for their children.
Consequences of having toxic parents
It can be difficult to realize Realize that you are a toxic parent, but you need to realize that in order to find solutions. Likewise, it is also important to be aware that perhaps you had or have toxic parents, in order to identify it and try not to repeat the same patterns with your children. That is why you must know the consequences of having toxic parents to know if we have experienced it in ourselves and prevent it from happening to our children.
1. They won’t find trust relationships
This is a fairly common problem. If parents are destined to be the main caregivers and providers of security and the reality is that they are not capable of providing real support, then children grow up having difficulty finding a support network. Due to the particular model that we have , there will not be a healthy vision of relationships and subconsciously they think that they will receive the same treatment that their parents gave them.
This can lead to self-sabotage, behavior from destructive relationships, to being emotionally dependent and to having attachment problems. People will be afraid that there is something wrong with relationships because they have never had a chance to feel confident.
2. They will be afraid of failure or rejection
A person who grows up with toxic parents will have problems with fear or rejection since their parents had terrifying reactions to anything that was not success -in their opinion-. Children lose their self-worth and even their dignity as they grow up thinking that they have to be the best at everything or else they would not receive their parents’ love. They grow up never being good enough and without a foundation on which to cultivate good self-esteem.
3. You will have extreme and confusing reactions
This is just part of the human condition, but it does happen. Sometimes you can have extreme emotional reactions that make you feel confused about your emotional health. It is possible that a person finds himself with mixed feelings about conscious decisions and that he does not know where so many confused feelings come from. Sometimes it is only necessary to stop and remember the reactions of the parents in different situations to know if they are learned behaviors -and therefore can be unlearned-.
4. They will suffer emotional abandonment
When toxic parents put their needs before those of their children, the little ones feel emotional abandonment. If you grew up with a father who was a verbal or physical abuser, a manipulator or any type of toxic profile, you will know what emotional abandonment means and that your needs always come last. It is likely that your emotional decisions remain anchored in the past. People who grow up in emotional abandonment get used to dealing with pain, anger and that will surely lead to more serious emotional problems.
5. They will deal with an overly critical inner voice
Children of toxic parents often have serious self-esteem or self-worth issues. Toxic parents don’t provide the support needed to build a foundation of self-confidence, but it goes further than that. Many children of toxic parents suffer from having an ‘overly critical voice inside them’ that tells them -just as their parents did- that they are a stupid, useless, silly, unworthy person, a failure or a human waste. This will lead to serious development problems.