Divorced parents: 3 mistakes not to make

Today it seems that breaking up with a partner is the most common thing that can happen. Breaking the commitment of a stable relationship is something very common and it is that the differences between people are normal but they cannot stand it or change for another person. Although breaking up seems easy for adults, it can be especially difficult for children. Even children can seem to be more affected by the end of the relationship than their own parents.

Children can go through a time of mourning, because although their parents are still by their side, they are not how they were before and have lost a way of living.Other children have to deal with the fact that their parents can no longer follow the same standard of living or that they cannot do daily tasks that they used to do together, such as eating or dinner.

Many children feel that divorce as scars on the heart, but in many cases it is the best solution for everyone. Parents can help their children not feel so bad through their own behavior before they even sign the divorce papers. But divorced parents need to avoid some mistakes that could destroy their children’s emotional health.

If you’re divorced, DON’T make these 3 mistakes for your children’s sake

1. Thinking that they will get over it easily

They need to feel how their parents understand them and how they are by their side. After the divorce of their parents, realizing that their world will no longer be the same, they may feel nervous, irritable and in a low mood. It is necessary to listen to the children without telling them that this is something easy (because for them it is not), but you can make it easy for them by making them live more or less the same routines as before the divorce.

Remember that on many occasions as a father or mother, you do not have to what to have the solution to their feelings, it is enough that you listen to them and know that you will be by their side for everything that is necessary.The healing of wounds can be achieved through an emotional connection with you and if your child feels understood at all times.

Errors divorced parents

2. Criticizing your ex

You should never criticize your ex in front of your children because whether you like it or not, they will always be their father or mother. When you’re criticizing your ex, your kids feel like you’re criticizing him. You should always talk about your ex with the utmost respect without getting into arguments or insults.

Respect for your ex-partner is fundamental. Remember that you are a role model for your children and they need to learn about your social skills and respect for others. Start with improving the relationship with your ex for your children, even if the relationship is not entirely satisfactory.

It is important for parents to keep in mind that children are children and they should not talk about their personal problems with them. their exes They are not therapists.

3. Make children messengers

Too many parents, in order not to communicate directly, prefer to use children as messengers. But few of them know that it causes excessive emotional stress and forces them to carry out a situation that their own parents do not know how to handle, giving them a responsibility that does not correspond to them. Parents should avoid children being the messengers at all costs.

Today there is e-mail or WhatsApp messages that can help you communicate with your ex and that You can talk about the practical aspects of raising your child without diversions to other negative areas that can open old wounds. Voicemails are not a good idea because if you say the wrong things they could be used against you. If your ex partner gets angry or talks bad to you, don’t get into the game. Also don’t argue in front of the kids.