Sometimes it seems that when you talk to your children you are talking to a wall, no matter how old they are, it just seems that they are not listening to you or that they do not want to, it can be really frustrating for some parents. Perhaps you feel that your children ignore you, that they do not listen to you even if you tell them things 5 times… this can create a tense environment in the home that is not beneficial for anyone.
When this happens, when you realize that your children do not listen to you, it is more than likely because of the feeling of frustration, speak louder or even yell with the intention of getting their attention and thus being heard in one way or another. But this is not the right thing to do and you certainly do not want to be this type of father or mother who screams about lack of educational resources.
I can assure you that this has nothing to do with your children not that they listen to you, nor that they are ignoring you or that they do not want to do what you are asking them to do. This topic is not about that at all, it has to do with how you tell them things and the environment build around it. Next I want to give you some keys so that your children listen to you and make communication much more effective.
Talk to them while looking them in the eye
If you have to say something to your children -about especially if they are small – the last thing you have to do is shout from one room to another. This type of communication is inappropriate and also, you will be teaching your children that yelling and talking from one room to another is okay, and it is not. Children need direct communication in order to pay attention.
In this sense, if you want your children to really listen to you, stop what you are doing and go to where they are, crouch down to their height and look them in the eye -and if it is keeping physical contact like a hand on a shoulder, much better, tell him what you want to say. You will be amazed at the change and you will realize how correct communication with children is.
Be clear about what you want to convey
Perhaps what you want is for your children to clean up their room but there is no way they will listen to you. You must be clear in your orders so that they know exactly what you are expecting from them at all times. It’s not a good idea to tell them: ‘Pick up your bedroom’, because it’s too broad an order for them and they don’t know exactly what you mean. In this case, they will not perform the action because it is too broad and you will think that it has not listened to you or that it has ignored you.
It is better that you focus on small tasks that are easy to understand and perform as: ‘Pick up the toys’, ‘Make the bed’, ‘Order your clothes’. That way they will know exactly what you are asking for. Of course, if from what you say they don’t know how to execute the action, they will need your guidance to learn it.
Give them the information they need
Children are not robots, they are people who also they have their own will and they want to decide what to do and what not to do on their own. The orders must be accompanied by information so that they listen to you and understand that you are not a sergeant. For example, you can say something like: ‘Put the milk inside the fridge because if you leave it outside it will go bad’ or perhaps: ‘The chairs are meant for you to sit on and not for you to stand up on them’. If you give them the information they need, they will do the right thing.
And of course, if you want your child to listen to you, you must be a good example of listening and empathy, day after day. .