Self-esteem is the way in which an individual perceives himself – thoughts and feelings – and his ability to achieve the things that are important to him. This self-esteem is shaped not only by a child’s own perceptions and expectations, but also by the perceptions and expectations of significant people in his or her life – parents, teachers, and friends. The closer you are to your own perception – how you see yourself – the ideal self – how you would like to be – is created, and then the higher your self-esteem.
Building self-esteem in children is a continuous process and begins from the moment they enter the world. There are parents who They think they don’t know how to do it well, but as long as you remember to praise, listen and enforce limits in a positive way, you can ensure that your child knows that you will never withdraw your love and support, which is essential for a healthy construction of the family. self-esteem.
You, as a parent, can help build a healthy self-esteem in your child, letting him know how well he does things and how proud you are of him. But it is necessary not to limit yourself to saying phrases such as: ‘How well you have done’ or ‘You are the best’. These phrases create confusion in children and can make them believe things that are not true. To create a healthy self-esteem it is very important to use descriptive words so that your children understand why you are satisfied. Your children need to know that you will be by their side to listen to them and support them no matter what happens, without judging them.
Tips for building healthy self-esteem in your children
If things don’t go as planned, you need to stay calm and talk about what happened. Remember that you are your child’s greatest role model in every way and they need you to be a good modeling example. But in addition to staying calm, you need to take into account some tips for raising your children:
- Acknowledge your children’s feelings and make sure you are listening and empathizing with what they feel.
- If you have to have a conversation with your child, try not to start things too intensely, pick a good time.
- Talk about the positives and personality of your child to help him understand that outward appearance is not what really matters in people.
- Never label your children, or criticize them or blame them for things that happen… This would only be sending them negative messages that could affect their emotional well-being in future life.
Promoting positive parenting
To promote healthy self-esteem in your children, it is vital It is important that your child knows that you recognize when he does things, that he has made an effort… it is necessary that you focus on his effort more than on the results. When your child feels like they’ve failed at something or been rejected, try to find something good about the experience to praise them for. For example, you could highlight the effort or dedication they’ve shown in a specific project. Next, they’ll need to spot and commit to changes about what they might be able to do in the future and what they’ve learned from the experience.
If you believe that your child behaves in a certain way because of low self-esteem, it would be necessary to look for what is happening to find the solution. Remember that you have to remember the behavior that he does not like, not point people out. For example, avoid saying things like: ‘You’re lazy’ and say something better: ‘I don’t like it when you don’t pick up your clothes from the floor’.