In the world we live in today, where it seems that children bother parents when they need to disconnect from everything… parents who enjoy going out with their children seem from another planet. They look at me strangely when I say that I like to travel with them and see how they enjoy themselves or that a good Sunday afternoon plan is to go out with the family for an ice cream .
Everywhere I find parents saturated with everything, tired of being parents, who search and search for moments to go out with friends or as a couple without children. Children who stay with their grandparents for entire weeks so that their parents can go to a vacation hotel, hotels exclusively for adults in most cases. Yes, my children also misbehave, but that is no excuse for me to want to be without them, my obligation is to educate them, not get rid of their presence!
My kids don’t bother me
I’m not going to deny you that children are exhausting. It’s true. It is also true that I find a time a day for myself, whether it be to read, to exercise or simply to go for a walk. That disconnection is necessary and of course, it is not bad at all. But when I talk about having a good time, enjoying a bridge, going on vacation, or just having an ice cream: I like to go out with my children.
And they look at me weird for thinking like that and even more so for going out with my children.
It seems that society is divided into two: those of us who have children to enjoy life with them and those who have children but then abuse babysitters and grandparents because they cannot bear the idea of losing their freedom and their life before becoming parents.
My kids don’t bother me, and I’m sure you don’t either. Simply the priorities or the form of mental rest are poorly managed. If when you are with your children you feel constant stress , it is normal that you want to run away from that situation all the time. You associate motherhood with anxiety in its purest form… If this happens to you, something is wrong and it is important that you seek a solution at the hands of a parenting professional who can guide you.
Motherhood is difficult and very hard on many occasions, but at no time should it make you feel acute anxiety or that you are losing your way. That is why it is so important to have routines at home, follow positive discipline and keep in mind that your children are not your enemies nor are they your ballast, they are part of you. They are little beings who will learn everything in life by seeing you, listening to your words and observing your actions.
How will they feel when they discover that you preferred to leave without them just because you were fed up with their presence? Imagine that feeling in the future, when you are an older person and they, with their planned life, feel like a hindrance to you. Without having the value of family well structured, after having learned that when something bothers me, I get rid of it…
Enjoy your free time alone, but also with them. Because they deserve to be with you, because if you have a good time in a rural house , why can’t they enjoy being by your side and learn that family time is the most important thing?
Enjoy yourself first and you will enjoy your children more
Of course, to achieve the previous point, it is essential that you first learn to be good with yourself. It seems contradictory, but it is not. You must find that mental balance and that inner peace that you long for. But you don’t have to do it for a week of vacation and then come back to reality and be like you were at the beginning.
You must find it in your day to day, within your responsibilities and with your children by your side. Look for that peace of mind in the most critical moments, for example, when one of your children is having a tantrum or when the daily responsibilities begin to overwhelm you.
Stop feeling that you don’t want to be with them, because time passes and doesn’t come back for anyone. Don’t look forward to finding time without them. You will feel guilty and it will not make sense to you… you will start to feel bad physically and emotionally. You don’t deserve that, and neither do they.
You must learn to be with your children, to feel accompanied and you must also learn to be with yourself alone. Put expectations or judgments aside. Live the present and enjoy your moment alone, but also with them.
Feel internally and you won’t have to think about them bothering you again. You will really enjoy their company, you will be able to disconnect in solitude and also with them by your side. You can enjoy nature, the beach, being at home… with your family. Accept who you are and you will be accepting your children.
It is not bad that you want some time for yourself, but stop looking for time without children at all costs because it will take away the energy necessary to be with them and with yourself. Enjoy motherhood and remember that your children are your teachers, the ones who will really teach you the value of life, what happiness is and will make you feel that fullness that will not make you feel like spending 3 days without them just because you want to escape from your reality.
Because escaping from reality is escaping from yourself, and that is not the way.