It is important that you know how to differentiate a shy child from an introverted one. When a child is an introvert, he enjoys solitude, has few friends by choice and does not feel sad or bad about it. When a child or person of any age is shy, they long to not be more outgoing and envy the social skills of those who are more outgoing in their life.
Once you know the difference and you have realized that your child is shy, then it is important that you take into account everything that you we will comment below. These are common mistakes that many parents make without knowing that they should change their way of proceeding.
Shyness: mistakes that are made
Shyness is a trait of the character of the personality that over time can disappear as long as it is worked in the right way. Therefore, parents should take into account some keys so that a child can overcome shyness over time instead of worsening it over the years.
Yes your child is shy you should not do any of the following:
- Forcing him to say hello when he doesn’t want to
- Make a fool of him when he doesn’t want to say hello or interact with other people
- Forcing you to do something you don’t want to do and calling you out just because you don’t want to do it. This will only increase his embarrassment and make him withdraw further.
- Excusing him when he doesn’t want to do something by saying things like “he’s just so shy”. If you excuse him, you will be reinforcing this behavior and labeling him shy.
- Comparing him with others. It is not at all advisable that you compare him with other people (neither family nor friends).
What you do have to do
Instead, what a shy child does need is to leave space for him to feel that he is capable of doing it. Provide safe situations where you can interact with others without feeling social pressure of any kind.
In addition, it is also important that From a young age, work on social skills to be able to relate to other people in a way that you can do so without feeling anxiety. For this, the ideal is that you follow the following tips:
- Provide small challenges to socialize such as inviting a friend over for a snack. Praise their achievements so that they go having confidence in himself and in his ability to relate to others.
- Keep in touch with professionals who work with your child when you are not around, such as teachers or monitors of extracurricular. This way you will be able to know what their behavior is with the other children when you are not around.
- When someone asks you something, if you have the capacity and age to answer for yourself, do not answer for him . Let him express himself freely.
- Encourage him to speak in public or sing, whenever he wants to. Never force him to do something he doesn’t want to do at that particular time.
- Teach social skills by being your best example. If you have a socially active life, your child will learn thanks to seeing you you relate to others to communicate with other people. The ideal is to meet other adults with children, make friends with neighbors, with parents from school… This will be of great help for the socialization of your children and for them to overcome their shyness.
- Show patience and understanding all the time. If you try to force him to do things he doesn’t want to do or you get nervous because he has a hard time because of his shyness, it will not be a good idea in the short or long term. Your son should feel that you accept him as he is, only in this way will he be able to improve his shyness and overcome this barrier that causes anxiety.