Modern times force us to run, take on new job responsibilities, attend social engagements and, of course, do housework and take care of children. However, leading a hectic pace of life is not good for you or your children. This pace of life generates stress and anxiety, so you will end up being a victim of exhaustion and irritability. In addition, this state often gives way to what some psychologists have called “negative parental behaviors”, which hinder the emotional development of children causing anger and anxiety.
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Parental impatience generates negative emotionality in children
Researchers at Oregon State University have discovered a link between parental impatience and childhood anger. They worked with 361 American families across the country, asking adoptive parents to fill out a series of questionnaires when the children were 9, 18, and 27 months old. age. They also recorded videos of the parents as they engaged with the children in a series of structured tasks.
So the researchers found that when adoptive parents tended to lose patience with children’s mistakes, the children were more irritable , had more tantrums, and were more likely, overall, to experience negative moods.
What was most interesting about this study, however, was that these researchers also looked at biological parents of the children and realized that genetics did not play a very important role in the behaviors of the children since when they were raised by relaxed, attentive and loving parents, the predisposition to anxiety and anger was attenuated considerably.
This research, which was published in the journal Development and Psychopathology, reveals that the ability of parents to adequately manage their emotions and controlling their behavior is essential for children’s development, beyond any genetic imprinting.
Anxiety is transmitted through instead of education
In recent years, different studies have also been carried out focusing on the transmission mechanism of anxiety from parents to children. One of the largest investigations was carried out carried out by researchers at King’s College in London and was recently published in the American Journal of Psychiatry.
This study analyzed almost 900 British families of adult twins who had had children of their own. The researchers found that the children were much more like their fathers than their uncles (their father’s twins), indicating that anxiety has not only a genetic but also an environmental component. These scientists they are convinced that anxiety is transmitted through education. In fact, it has been appreciated that from the age of three months, babies are already capable of capturing the emotional states of their parents and adapting to them by responding accordingly.
Therefore, the Children could pick up on their parents’ concerns and fears and end up adopting them as their own. On the other hand, it should not be forgotten that in many cases the negative parental behaviors that are generated as a result of anxiety can end up causing an insecure attachment in the child, which will affect his way of relating to others and to himself.
How to prevent anxiety and stress from passing on to your child?
- Plan some time to relax. Just as you plan your child’s work meetings and extracurricular activities in your agenda, make time for yourself to relax. It will be time well spent.
- Remember that he is just a child. Children make mistakes, they are part of learning. Don’t scold him for it, help him understand where he went wrong and encourage him to try again.
- Distribute household chores. Each member of the household should contribute to household chores , in this way you will not be so overwhelmed and you will have more quality time to dedicate to your children. Therefore, make sure you distribute the tasks well and include your children, who from the age of 3 can already lend a hand at home.
- Learn to manage your emotions. Educating a child is also a self-learning process. There will be situations in which you will need to count to 10, or to 100. For this reason, it is important that you accept motherhood or fatherhood as an opportunity to grow and learn to better manage your negative emotions.