When it comes to thought processes, the most important habits of mind in children is that they develop optimism. Children who practice optimistic thinking are more resilient, cope much better with challenges and tend to interpret experiences in a way that gives them a sense of control and confidence, both of which are very important for personal development of success.
There are many parents who hide behind the fact that they do not teach their children to be pessimistic, but realistic… Although on many occasions it is the same. Pessimism, on the other hand, leads to helplessness and people not trying anything in life for fear of failing. Pessimistic people think that no matter what they do, it will never work and therefore it is not worth the effort.
Optimism is taught
Optimism is not about temperament, it is a habit of thought that refers to the way in which we interpret events, therefore… it can be taught. Children who are pessimistic will think that when they do something well, they do not have nothing to do with their worth and they attribute it to luck and when they do something wrong, it is their fault because they are not capable.
On the other hand, children who are optimistic, if they do something They will know very well that it is because they have made an effort and that they have had their reward, and if something goes wrong, it will not cause them any problem because it will give them the opportunity tolearn from their mistakes in order to improve next time. >
That a child learns to be optimistic has a lot to do with the education that their parents transmit to them every day. Optimistic parents will be teaching their children that life is easier than it seems and even if there are difficulties, something good can always come out of everything. Pessimistic parents will make their children see the glass as half empty and possibly also have a more restrictive or overprotective parenting style, as they will think there will always be something bad lurking.
How to teach the optimism
Be a mod positive elo
It is essential that you be a positive role model and that you realize how you approach reality to your children every day. If your children hear a lot of positive comments, they will be more likely to think optimistically for themselves. Look for and point out the good side of things and experiences. Give your children interpretations of specific facts and if there are mistakes, teach them the importance of learning from them to improve next time.
It is very important to avoid personalization -I am the guilty- as well as globalization -I always do everything wrong- and catastrophism -I will always do everything wrong-. If you realize that you are somewhat pessimistic, it will be necessary for you to start by transforming your mind into a more positive one. For example, if there is something that has gone well for you, think that things did not go as you wanted because you were not focused enough or perhaps because you lacked practice… and all of that can be improved next time. Even if things have not gone well, you can always take the positive side of things.
Failure is an opportunity
Whether things have gone well or badly, what matters is for parents to ask their children this: ‘What will you do differently next time?’ Failure is a natural part of learning and helps us recognize what we don’t yet know, what we can or can’t do. To do this, it is necessary to teach children to self-evaluate with questions such as:
- What went well?
- What was the result you expected?
- What would you change if you could?
Encourage your child to identify how they can influence future events and how they can develop an action plan to bring about change. Encourage her to set her own goals.