10 phrases to say to your child instead of DON'T CRY

There are many times that children cry and seek comfort from their parents. They need to feel protected and understood in order to begin to understand their emotions. Although there are times when parents think that their children’s crying is manipulation and can even be unpleasant. Actually, their crying is touching because they need to show you their emotional state and there you are to be able to teach them to understand those intense feelings.

Be that as it may, it’s natural to feel some irritation at times when a child cries, especially when it’s continuous or when you’re busy. But if a child cries a lot and often, you have to ask yourself what is wrong with him. You should feel your child’s crying as an emotional resource that he uses to make you understand that he is having an intense feeling to deal with, but in no way is it a way of manipulating you.

Decipher emotional crying

As a parent, the time has come for you to decipher your child’s emotional crying, to distinguish which are tears of pain, hunger or discomfort. If you are one of the parents who do not allow your baby to cry for a long time because he needs you to hug him to comfort him or if you have a small child (from 3 years old for example) and you allow him space to calm his emotions because he needs understand them through crying, it is very positive, without a doubt!

But, it is possible that any day when crying is a constant, and your child cries for reasons beyond his basic needs, give you anxiety or worry. You may even feel frustrated and impatient to shut up as soon as possible. You don’t have to feel that his crying is annoying and you don’t have to say things like: “Stop crying”, “Don’t cry”, “Don’t be a baby” or “Stop crying!”

Although these phrases seem like a quick solution to stop crying and relieve your stress, in reality, they are phrases that will make you feel guilty and also, your children may feel emotional pain because they will not feel understood or supported in moments of very intense feelings.

When you tell your children these types of phrases, you will be repressing their emotions and therefore you will be harming their emotional learning process… Their crying is not a terrible or bad noise , it is simply a necessary resource to learn to control emotions in a safe space to process them.

crying boy

Use these phrases when your child cries

First, before anything else, it is important that you control your own emotions and understand them in order to understand your children’s when they are crying. Let your emotions flow, and so do your child’s. When your child is feeling intense emotions, you will have to calm him down with words of understanding and emotional support.

Here are some phrases that you can use with your children when they are in tears. In this way, when you use them you can convey the message that they are being understood, that you are by their side and that they can show their emotions with complete confidence to learn to understand and manage them.

  1. I understand you’re upset honey, let’s see what we can do to make you feel better.
  2. Honey, tell me in words what’s wrong with you, what emotion do you feel? Let’s see what emotion you’re feeling.
  3. I’m listening my love, tell me what’s happening to you.
  4. It’s It’s okay to feel angry (sad, upset, etc.) sometimes. Let’s see why you feel this way.
  5. I understand that you wanted “this” and that you feel “x”.
  6. Let’s take a break to breathe together and find calm. Then you’ll see that you’ll feel better.
  7. I understand that you need to be alone, but if you want to talk I’m here for whatever you need.
  8. Can I hug you honey?
  9. Never forget that I love you, I will always love you no matter what.
  10. Let’s see what you feel, find out what that emotion tells you and find a solution to make you feel better.

Remember that crying is not something negative, all human beings we need to do it to find emotional well-being. Look your children in the eye when they cry and give them all the patience and understanding they need.