Is it the children’s fault that they feel empty? Absolutely. They are born as blank canvases that are about to start writing or being painted and if as they grow up they feel like empty children, it is because there is something that does not fit well and that we adults must keep in mind to change it. The children need us, and we cannot look elsewhere.
It is a tragedy that children feel empty in their homes, with their families. The worst thing is that it is a tragedy that no one realizes… They, our children, are our most precious treasure and something is happening that makes them feel bad. It is up to us to change that and make them feel better, that they are happy.
The emotional state of feeling empty is devastating for adults, so imagine how it can affect a child who is in full development! Unfortunately, in the last decade childhood mental illness has skyrocketed.
It has terribly increased the suicide rate in children aged 10 to 14 by 200%, leaving broken families who do not know what could have gone through their child’s young head to decide to do such a horrible act.
What is being done wrong?
The reality is that children are overstimulated, think less, and want instant gratification. They grow up in a material and superficial world that makes them feel inferior to those who “have” more. They do not understand that happiness is much more than having or possessing… it is about living, being grateful and enjoying our loved ones.
In fact, despite everything they have, they lack other very important aspects for a healthy childhood:
- Parents present and emotionally available
- Defined limits
- Responsibilities at home and away
- Sleep well
- Eat a balanced diet
- enjoy creative play
- Social relations
- unstructured games
- Moments for boredom without screens that enhance their imagination and conflict resolution
The above is what they lack because they have too much of:
- immature parents who only think about themselves
- overly permissive parents
- Parents who pay too much attention to screens
- Too much of everything without first earning it
- Sedentary life
- Sleep bad
- eat worse
- Continuous instant stimulation
- too many screens
- Parents absent due to too much work
- Absence of boredom because they always use technology to feel instant gratification
We have to remedy… NOW
It is necessary to do our part and seek remedies as soon as possible. Our children deserve to be happy and grow up as healthy people both physically and emotionally. Therefore, we must do an inner job as parents and not allow anyone in this world to think about suicide again just because they feel emotionally abandoned, or worse, because they feel like they don’t fit in anywhere.
Parents have to wake up and go back to the essentials of parenting. To do this, start taking this into account today and forever:
- Your children don’t need things, they need you.
- Your children do not want time under the same roof with you, they want and need quality time by your side: sharing experiences.
- They need limits and to realize that you are the one in charge of the family. This way they will feel protected at all times.
- It offers a balanced lifestyle in both physical and emotional nutrition.
- Say “No” whenever necessary, wanting is not the same as needing.
- Spend time outdoors with your children every day: walking, cycling, enjoying nature, etc.
- Enjoy family lunches or dinners, with screens off and close conversations.
- Play board games as a family with children as often as possible. Let the children choose.
- Give your children responsibilities so that they feel that they are useful at home and that their role is essential in the family.
- Maintain daily routines where sleep hygiene is the protagonist.
- Teach your children autonomy and don’t overprotect them. Allow them to get frustrated and guide them so that these intense emotions do not invade them.
When children make mistakes they can internalize the all-important resilience . They will be able to overcome the obstacles that life throws at them, and it is essential for them to feel capable despite the adversities they may experience on a daily basis.
It is very important to teach them that the best gratification is the one that is expected and achieved with effort. Every day, organize time slots for them to get bored and for their imagination to finally wake up. You are not responsible for their entertainment.
Never use technology for when they get bored. You can use it for educational purposes and always with time and parental control. As a prize or as a routine, but always without going overboard. Never as entertainment in moments of waiting. The jar of boredom is a great ally in these situations.
With these tips your children will not feel empty and your home will be full of unconditional love from all the members.