There are many parents who think that their adolescent children are very immature and that fully trusting them could cause more than one or two problems, but the reality is that without trust a teenage son or daughter will not be able to fully mature. They need your trust to be able to evolve and develop as a whole and healthy person.
It is up to us as parents to support their movement towards independence by granting them more and more freedom. It is the job of adolescents to show us that the freedom we are providing them can be trusted. The more you can trust them, the more freedom you can give them for what will be in your interest and theirs than the behavior is correct. There are some ways to be able to do it and for adolescents to realize the importance of their attitude and behavior towards others.
Give children more freedom to build confidence
To being able to give more freedom to children and that trust is good, must be a job that has to be achieved by both parties. Parents give more freedom and children show that they can be trusted. For this to happen, the following must be taken into account:
- The exits must be where they say they will be. If the plan changes, they have to tell you . If he tells you and it’s true, you should be grateful and if he doesn’t tell you, then don’t get mad at him or her, just let him or her know that without trust on both sides they won’t be able to get the freedom they want. It should be a win-win.
- Your child should always be reachable. It is very important that both you and your child are always reachable when you are apart. Leave your phone with sound in case he calls and so you can answer quickly and you must demand the same from him. It does not mean that you are going to call him every two for three, but if something happens he should know immediately. For this, it is necessary to reach an agreement to contact them only if necessary. Give him the space he needs.
- Honesty above all else. It is very important that you are honest on both sides. If your child is honest with you and he tells you the truth about things, you need to be understanding in return. If something negative has happened but your child has told you the truth, make him see that honesty is more rewarding and agree on a negative consequence according to what happened but keeping in mind that he was brave enough to tell the truth.
Communication and discipline
It is very important that in the relationship between parents and adolescent children there is good communication and that there is also sincerity on both sides. This will provide security and confidence to your children, they will see that they can trust you. This will be unlikely if when your child is honest with you there are severe consequences for telling the truth or when they want to maintain open communication. If this happens, they can learn that if they talk to you they should measure their words -or hide them- to avoid negative consequences.
Remember that discipline is about teaching and being the guide of a son/daughter and not to punish or impose severe rules so that your children obey blindly and without taking into account their opinion or their interests. Discipline should teach your children that your relationship is based on mutual respect and trust, so the freedom they want so they can feel in control of their world must be earned, and once they’ve achieved that, they won’t. there will be a problem of communication, trust and freedom.