Raising children is not easy and there are times when parents resort to threats when they feel so frustrated with their children’s disobedience that they don’t know what else they can do. The threats are the result of desperation regarding the education of children, but in reality they are useless and in the long term they can cause problems in the education of children.
Threats are useful while children are afraid but as they grow older and lose it, they will no longer help. And the worst is not only the use of threats, but the respect between parents and children will be conspicuous by its absence. Parents who use them normally do so because they have lost control and do not know how to act otherwise.
There are no instructions
When you are a father or mother, you do not have a instruction manual, it is done to the best of its ability, although it is not always as one would like. Sometimes due to stress, tiredness, lack of time… education towards children may seem a bit tense. But it is necessary to bear in mind that threats are aggressiveness and no type of aggression, not even physical. nor verbal is adequate for the education of children.
Threats are a form of abuse towards children or towards anyone who is told. Threats are often accompanied by bad words or passive aggressive words that hurt children greatly and affect their behavior. Parents think it gives them authority, but it doesn’t really help in the long run. The only thing this type of resource achieves is that the children emotionally disconnect from their parents, hurt their self-esteem and worst of all… there is no mutual respect.
Consequences of using threats
If you use threats in the education of your children in the long run, you will have consequences and you will regret having used them. So that you do not regret it when it is too late, it is better that you know what happens when threats to your children:
- You affect your child’s self-esteem and he will have bad behavior. They don’t feel valued and rebellious and defiant behavior will be the order of the day.
- You will cause stress in your children and affect their personality.
- Your child will not be a responsible person because threats do not teach responsibility, they will only have learned to avoid punishment, not to act correctly intrinsically.
- The child will learn that aggressive behavior is a normal and correct way of relating to others.
- You will have no authority as a parent.
Alternatives to threats
The first thing to consider when you want to prevent your children from growing up with the consequences described in The previous point is to find a way for your children to cooperate at home, in any situation. Cooperation is fundamental and for this, you will always have to offer them options so that they feel that they are part of the decisions and that they also see that their opinion is valid.
In this way , the children will respect you and also, they will cooperate more actively and will listen to what you tell them because they will feel you are part of their team and not as the enemy to avoid because otherwise it will hurt them. Remember that as a father or mother it is necessary that respect be mutual and can only be achieved with trust and good manners. Authority and fear are not synonymous, and if you want to educate with fear, your children will not be able to have a good emotional bond with you.
Use positive and affectionate words so that your child can get emotionally closer to you every time you talk to him. Avoid anger, shouting or bad manners that scare and harm children so much. Always put yourself in your child’s place so that you discover how he may be feeling. If you want your child to be an empathic person, you will first have to be empathic with him.